ashweee1012

Welll URM

2009-05-03T18:36:01Z

Hello.
well hey.
i know no body reads this. but i like to check in everyonce and a while.
and well.
my mom had her baby.
her name is alexis.
im no longer with my first love.
rashard.
im not with my last love nathan.
we are going to marry.
and have little children.
and im currently engaged to him.
and dont say im too young to know this.
its just somthing i can feel.
but ive been in a state of depression since wednsday.
i have not seen him since tuesday.
and i miss him.
i want to see him.
i i cant.
cause he punched a kid in the head.
and got into some trouble.
again.
well i miss him.

bubbly

2008-08-17T04:11:15Z

heyy

i dont know what to say.

duck it.

fuck.

2008-07-07T06:43:20Z

fuck.
fuck.
fuck
my moms prego

gahh numba 8.

2008-05-30T22:12:52Z

Gr.
gr.
and grrrr.
alright.
my brain is mal functioning.
i need to be a little more organized then this.
my week end
i think is about to be demolishedd.
grrr.
i need boys.
in my lifee.
pronto.
GRRRRRR
i ruined my realationship with this kid.
now im trying to start a neww one.
but its not working.
im trying out for miss teen vermont.
that should go over great.
gahh.
why is everything sucking.
oh and btw.
my step dad will never move out.
seriously.
im thinking about moving out on my own.
but what the hell is a 14 year old gonna do on her own.
i think nothing.
grrrr/
its been about a month since i last cut myself.
im doing pretty good.
i might get sent to new jersey for the summer.
that should be a hoot.
my cat is now sitting on my dining room table.
its bothering me.
oh and one of the boys im supposed to chill with this weekend.
isnt responding.
perfectt.
well.
yeah.
but on the bright side schools over soon.
this week is are last full week of school.
=]
im soo happy.
summer should be good.
but my cousin might leave me.
=[
=[
=[
i like this kid tashi.
and i still like justin.
but idk who i like more.
i dont know which one likes me more.
i think its probaly.
i hate my life soo fucking bad.
i hate living in this damn house with my step dad.
i hate him
i hate him
i hate him
i hate him
i hate him
i hate him
i hate him
i hate him
i hate him
i hate him
i hate him
i hate him
GAHHH
i should go.
bye.

gah numba 7

2008-05-23T00:18:21Z

Well.
i havent wroten in about a month.
idk ive lost my mind
well i walked on my parents doing ittt.
and i freaked.
i attempted to commit suicide 3 different ways and i just couldnt do itt.
maybe i didnt want to die really.
oh and im soo confused about boys right now i dont even wanna talk about them
all i have to say is im done worrying about boys.
oh and now im hanging out with the "populars"
the "in crowed"
or as called in my school
"them"
reallly to tell the truth.
i never would have pictured myself with "them"
i think its mostly b/c i do so much that wouldnt match it.
but they dont know all the things i do to my self
or what i do period.
they just know the girl they see at school.
the girl who plasters a smile on her face just to hid it all.
the girl who comes off out going.
the girl who comes off confedent.
the girl with the girly laugh.
the short sweet innocent girl.
i wonder if they knew my real self.
if they would still want me?
the girl who cuts her self.
the girl whos parents hate her.
the girl who crys all the time.
the girl who wil sit in front of the mirror just to cry to her reflection.
i think.
there is only one girl in this world who will accept me as i am.
one girl who knows the whole story.
and still wont judge me.
her name is abbby.
i love her soo much.
becides that.
im going to massetchucettes,
i dont know how to spell
i dont know whats gonna happen.
but im hugryy. s im gonna peace out
byeeeeee

Gahh numba 6.

2008-04-06T07:41:52Z

Hey.
sorry its been about 4 days since ive posted.
but umm i guess i can tell u the main highlighs of what has happened to me these past days.
well uhh.
i started "chilling"
with a boy i definitly should not be "chilling" with.
then i promised my virginity to him.
would i be wrong if i said im scared?
well.
he told this girl.
and she open her mouth and told this other girl.
and we had to try our best to keep that girls mouth quiet.
i hope it does.
honestly.
if this whole thing gets out.
i could lose my best friend.
and my sisters trust.
and i dont know what i would do.
but i dont have real feeling for this guy.
he just makes me feel wanted.
and that helps expecaily be cause.
i have really bad self esteme issues=[
but w/e .
yeah.
and i should be going to the movies with justin<3 and chris next weekend.
i didnt go to the movies w/ abby yester day because beth had a birthday party.=/
but im going shopping with abby tomorrow.
my mom attepmted to kick my step dad out.
i doubt that will get ver far.
he never listens to my mother.
it pisses the fuck out of me.
i just juged a botle of cheap wine.
im a little wasted.
but im not that bad.
i need to find better ways to let out my feelings.
with out cutting or drinking.
i honestly dont drink that much tho.
but i do when im not in the mood to cut.
i love how no one knows anything about this.
but imposting it on a website where anyone can see it.
wow.
well i should go.

Lovess.
~ashley~

Gahh numba 5.

2008-04-02T02:32:31Z

ok sooo umm.
the guy i likee.
im thinking he MIGHT like me too.
ive only known him for a week
but somthing tells me we will get really close.
i like him alot.
and it take alot for me to like somone,
and since ive only talked to him 6 times in my whole life.
he must be pretty damn special.
seriously.
but his best friend likes me too.
which could be hard.
cause i dont like breaking hearts.
and he might not wanna hurt his friend by going out with me.
well
not this friday but the one afterr.
we all are going to the moviess.
i cant waitt.
but this fridayy i withh abby.
=]
well tonight was not horrible.
i ate chinese food=]
and now im listening to a ipod.
buy you a drank.
i dont really like this song muchh
but im too lazy to change it.
soo umm nighttt.

peacee,
ashleyy<3

Gahh numba 4.

2008-04-01T22:20:46Z

Ok soo today was another boring dayy.
i woke this morning thought mabye just mabye.
i could get through a morning with out being verbally
abused.
somtimes i dont even know.
have u ever listened to somone u really love cry and u just want to kill your self.
well thanks to my step dad i had to listen to my sis cry.
it hurts me.
even though i have made her cry but we r sisters.
and thats different.
i hate my step dad.
and honestly.
i have the hardest time thinking he loves me.
he even tried getting my mom to give me away.
but i knowww my mom loves me.
me and my sister are really the onlything in her whole life.
she cares about more then any thing.
and through all the hard and shit i go through i remeber that.
and know i shouldnt be looking down.
people have it worst then me.
but any wayss.
i went school.
borrringggg.
then the teeen centerr.
thenn.im homee.
i hate dan.(my step dad)
hes in the other room.
acting a idiot.
hes nothing but a jerky pot head.
he should go die.
Abby went home sick today=[
i cant wait till friday.
im hanging out w/ abby. alma. and jenna.
we are going to the movies.
i hope abby get better soon.
i miss her.
shes my best friend.
abby<3

peace dudes.
byee.

Gahh numba 3.

2008-04-01T01:41:46Z

Hmm.
well today.
wass veryy boringg.
went to school.
went to a track thing.
talked to sum kids out side.
walked to abbys.
abby is verryy sick...actually she was verryy sickk.
she should be back to school tomorrow.
i hope i dont get sickk.,
but then i watch ANTM(americas next top model)
all night.
then we ate dinner.
and her madre drove me homee.
i love abby.
she is theeeee.
BEST.
school tomorrow=/
blahh

Writer's Block: Sharing is Caring

2008-03-31T01:53:42Z

What do you most hate sharing with other people?

View 500 Answers

Well first of all what i hate sharing w/ ppl is somthing im not gonna share on live journal. hugs and kisses byee.

gahh. numbaa 3.

2008-03-30T20:29:00Z

Ok so today, i went shopping and got sum newww shoes.
then me my aunt my mom and muh grandma went to some stores to look at dresses for my aunts wedding.
so yeahh to day was pretty dull.
im very boredd.
but i gotta go cleann.
sooo. yeahh i will write more tonighttt.

Peace dudes.

Gahh numba 2.

2008-03-30T02:08:29Z

Sooo.
im in my bed room.
my mom is out there baby sitting that slim guys kids.
yuck i hate little kids.
very much.
i dont want kids.
Penis.
i loveeeee saying penisss. and fuckk mee. randomly.
it makes me happy.
i lovee abby shes my best friend.
i dont know what i would do w/ out her.

i hate my step dad.
hes horrible.
guess what???
its been 4 whole day since ive done the red road.
that good.
exspecailly for me.
i went nuts 4 days ago.
i seriously dont even know.

hmm.

2008-03-30T01:32:34Z

Hmmm.
im 14.
im ashleyy. my life is complicated. but i can deall. i hate being a teen. i miss being 6. i really dont know how to use live journal. help please.

ashweee1012 @ 2008-04-30T11:17:00

2008-03-30T01:30:09Z

i dont know how to write in a comunity.
humm. idk what the fuck im doing here.

gahh. numbaa 1.

2008-03-30T00:24:17Z

Heyy.

Ok well im ashley. duhhh. and uhh this is my first journal entryyy.
well first of all i would like to say is i truly dont know what im doinggg.
but i dont reall careee. im still having funn writing.
ok well since this is a journal i think i should be writing about how my day went. so here we goo.
todayy i woke upp i was at my friend abbys house soo umm yeahh. we were watching this thingy on tv about aliens thenn we maded pan cakes then i went homee. i love abby.<3
then when i got home my brah was here and we were being dumb then we went to costco got food. and i just ate. now im verrryyy full.
but lastnight i had a really good time i went to this dance thingy. and well i dance with somt ppl and i had a really good timeee.
i like changing the color of my letters. its funn.
well yeah i met this boy and he was hott. i told him he was and he didnt say anything. probaly cause im ugly =[
but yeahh. i had tacos.
Slim just got heree. hes my parents friend. he has little kids w/ him =[ yuckk.

Well im outt.
peace dudesss.
worddd.